In the fall of 2009 we decided it was time to grow our family. In April of 2010, after having an appendectomy, I was told that I had severe endometriosis and would need to have surgery to remove it before we could move on with trying to conceive. In July I had my surgery to remove the endo. I was optimistic that this was the answer and we would finally be able to move forward. After my surgery we did our first IUI. Man was I excited. 2 days later we were called up to the doctors office with news of what looked like a cancerous cyst on my right kidney. I think I went numb. More talk of what do to and now talk about the "morning after drug" were flying around in my head. It was devastating.
After many tests we were told that the calcified cyst did not seem to be growing and it was something we could watch every 3 months. Praise Jesus.
Come to find out the IUI didn't take. It was then that I was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure.
Together we had comfort in knowing that God must have something very special in line for us.
Being a step-mom and a foster mom, my heart has experienced what is really means to love. That love doesn’t know a blood type, or DNA. Family is what you make it. I discovered that in a whole new way.
One day, after our fostering journey had ended, I was alone in my car driving. Suddenly I was overcome with this feeling... my God, the God that I know and love, and that knows my hearts desires to be a mother, was telling me that I would never be able to have children. What? Yes, that’s right. It was the one and only time in my 31 years of being alive that I have ever been so overcome by God’s word. It was so plain, so clear. Me? Never to be a Mom? No way. That just couldn’t be what I heard. After confiding in a few friends about it, I (along with them) quickly brushed it aside as just the “aftermath” of feelings since our foster son had recently left our home.
Fast forward a year and a half….there we were, with every door closed, with every doctors appointment left in tears, with all ideas of becoming a mother by way of my husband and I was never to be. It was a surreal moment. One that still makes me shake my head in “awe”! God WAS speaking to me. He WAS telling me that I wouldn’t bare children of my own, but that it didn’t mean I wouldn’t be a mother.
I knew this was it. It was my “AH-HA” moment. One that has left me with more clarity then I have ever experienced in my life.
We were being called to adopt! That was it! That was what God was saying all those months ago!
Since our “Ah-Ha” moment we have been shown time and time again that this was the path we were supposed to be on.
“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus Christ has given me- the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.” Acts 20:24
Fast forward about 2 years and here we are, with a precious baby girl and an amazing testimony to the faithfulness of God!
I have prayed many times for the way in which God would have me share our story and give hope and encouragement to those who feel alone in their infertility or in their adoption journey.
A few months back I was looking around on Instagram (I LOVE that app) and I'm not sure how, but I found Emmy. She is a sweet Momma of 2. One bio son and one adopted chocolate baby girl. I quickly started following her pics because I loved that she had a chocolate daughter too. One thing led to another and I found myself reading her blog, and she was also reading mine!
She has such a wonderful story of how they grew their family through adoption and about how God really "showed up" in their time of financial need!
She recently asked if I would speak at an event that she was heading up called the "Choose Joy Event" in Laguna Hills, CA.
I was honored to be asked and of course I said, "YES".
What an answer to my prayers. To be able to speak to other women that are going through what we went through and to be able to share with them how God's plan is SUCH a mighty one.... I can't wait!!
So, I hope to be back blogging much more between now and then. Little Lyla has just cut her first tooth (yes, at 5 1/2 months old) and she also just learned to roll completely over... she's growing WAY too fast.
She is still just a precious little doll and one of the happiest babies I have ever known!
With my big kids home for summer break, it's been a little busy around my house. No excuses though. I love blogging and really need to get back to it!
So stay tuned!!!!
