*Sigh*

Maybe I should be more like my husband (oh my gosh! Don't tell him I said that! ;) )
I mean, mainly when it comes to this adoption. He is a calm, positive, no-frills kind of guy. He is laid back and can come off as not caring if you don't know his personality, but really he does.... a lot. He doesn't worry like I do, or if he does he's darn good at not showing it.

Last night I had a small breakdown. We got some news from some friends that are changing direction in their adoption journey and it just made me second guess myself and this process. I'm sure that's nothing new for all the "experienced" adoptive parents out there....but to me, it's something I HATE doing. It puts these little pieces of doubt in my mind, and sometimes it's like a slippery slope until, before you know it, i'm sitting on the couch in tears about this path that God has led us down.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm praying hard enough, long enough, intentionally enough.....am I reading the Bible enough (who ever is?), am I reading the right verses, the right books......
My worries of this sort can go on for days! Worry is EVIL! *sigh*

I read other blogs and read about how they seek God and He led them to another place, to another journey...etc.
or
I read blogs where all of a sudden there is a "waiting" child and *BAM* their home and happy and in like 4 months!!!!!!!!
*might be some jealous/bitter feelings talking there...i apologize*

I read blogs where they are SO SUPER in sink with God, and with their spouse.... it's all a bit overwhelming. I must pray all the time for the envy I feel. That's EVIL too! *dang, i'm on a roll with the EVIL feelings...crap*

I know that God is really working on my testimony. From infertility, a cancer scare, a total ovarian shut down, 2 surgeries in 3 months, ALL the adoption highs and lows.... all throughout I have clung to HIS love, and trusted in HIS word that all of this will one day be used to glorify him! wow.

I trust God.
I trust that ALL of these things happen to keep my life in "line" with His Will!
I know that one day I will be a Mommy to a sweet baby. I know that God wants that for me.
I hold tight to the fact that the Lord can move mountains....and this is my mountain.

Today is a rough day, but I know that I am not alone.

1 Month

Today is our 1 month "waitlistiversary"! 1 month closer!

I would completely sound like a broken record by saying that we have complete faith in the Lord that this will end with a sweet baby girl in our arms...but it's true. We know that we are doing what we have been called to do.

1 month closer!!!

Copy Cat-- Blog post style

I have been in a blog funk. Not sure why or what it's about, or how long it will last ....but I have been really trying to think of things I want to blog about and other then the same'ol adoption post (nothing against those of course!)...I have nothing lately!!!

So I'm totally going to copy Jennifer's post.

Some random things to know about ME! :)

1. I love sweet tea. If I were totally crazy (and a little white trash) I would have a big "I *heart* Sweet Tea" tattooed somewhere on my body...... seriously LOVE it that much!

2. I have a tattoo... it says "patience" and it's on my left foot. I have very little patience sometimes, so this tattoo comes in handy. It is true what they say, you can never have just one tattoo! It's totally addicting! crap.

3. I can't stand the sound of cotton balls (yes, they have a sound), fingernail clipping, ice chewing, open mouthed eating, etc... totally crazy, I know! ;)

4. I love to sew (duh!). I especially love to sew when it's just for fun or for friends/neighbors, etc.

5. I am obsessed with blogs.... decorating blogs, adoption blogs, crafty blogs, sewing blogs, blogs..blogs...blogs! Something about them just makes me smile.

6. Love reality TV....yip, not going to lie! Tori and Dean, Khloe & Lamar, The Kardashians, 16 and Prego, Teen Mom......Bring it! Love all of them.

7. My husband does dishes.... and cooks, and does laundry whenever I need him to! Yes, he's the best!

8. I am NOT and outdoors girl, unless I'm laying outdoors by/in a pool. Otherwise, give me air-conditioning and NO BUGS!

9. I live in a cul-de-sac. It's awesome and we call it "the sac".

10. I can touch my tongue to my nose

SUPER random...but fun. Thanks Jennifer for the inspiration!
:)

Busy Sewing not busy blogging...geesh

God is GOOD.... and HE has blessed my efforts to raise money for our adoption expenses through my Etsy store!!!! I give Him the glory!!
I have been pretty busy over the last few weeks and it just makes my heart smile every time I receive an order. It means another deposit into my "baby fund". :)
Just knowing that I am doing something to contribute to bringing our baby home has been really special. I'm pretty positive this is how I will spend my wait...that and my real job, and being a wife and step-mom. Whew! :)

God is GOOD!

My cute birthday hats....love these. Can't wait till I have my very own sweet baby to wear one!

My little personalized totes.... always been a big hit. Super fun to make too!

These birthday shirts are crazy popular. I think they are the most popular thing I make right now. Last Christmas it was my dolls....now it's birthday shirts! Who knows what's next :)

So if you need anything cutesy...head over to my Etsy shop and take a look around!
:)

Mothers Day 2011

Mother's Day this year was especially wonderful! Besides being the step-mom to two pretty amazing kids, I am "paper" pregnant waiting on my precious baby from Ethiopia.

It doesn't seem real. I mean, I read the blogs...I wear the t-shirts, I pray for my baby and her birth-mother... but still...it just seems like something I'm doing for now...not like it's something that is ever really going to happen.
I'm REALLY going to be a mom? No one is ever going to take her/him/them away? Ever? That just seems like a fantasy to me.

I know we have a long wait ahead. I try to concentrate on the "here and now" and not dwell on the months that I have left to wait for my baby.
I'm blessed to have amazing friends and family to focus on. Thank goodness! ;)

So for Mother's Day this year the kids and Clint got me my "Heart for Africa" necklace from Junk Posse on Etsy! I have wanted one since we first made the decision to adopt, but I am so happy that Clint decided on Mother's Day to be the time to get it for me.
It it precious and means the world to me!




Here's Blake and I on our snow cone date on Saturday night. It was kind of last minute, so Blake had his footie pj's on. I said, "just slip some shoes on". So he did and then while we were in the car on the way back, he was looking out the window and said, "hmm, where else can we go on our date"? I laughed as I reminded him that he was in his footie pajamas! He's a cute boy. ALL boy...but cute.
Blake also had a baseball tournament in Edmond this weekend.

It was a great Mother's Day weekend. Filled with family, friends, baseball, sunshine, snow cones, gifts, shopping, and sewing....what more could a girl ask for!? I am truly blessed!